I have to post this...

I really don't think I will forget this summer, but still I need to write this down so someday (hopefully soon) I can look back and see God's hand in the way things have played out.

It is the middle of July, I am 32 1/2 weeks pregnant, and I still don't have a job.  Despite Brandon's working 12+ hour days on making every nook and cranny of our home beautiful, we still don't have a working kitchen (no kitchen sink, dishwasher, etc.), there are boxes in our entire dining room that can't be unpacked until Brandon is done, and my nesting urges are starting to hit full swing.  Did I mention I am in total denial as well that I am having another baby in less than 7 weeks? (I am having another c-section).  Let me remind you again, I still don't have a job and if I get a job I will be starting the school year 36 weeks pregnant and brand-new to a building, curriculum, district, and then (hopefully--stay in there baby!) two weeks later have to write sub plans for 8 weeks I have never taught before...

Not a day goes by where I am not thankful that we moved to Broomfield.  There is no doubt in my mind that this is where we are supposed to be.  One of the MANY reasons we moved up to Broomfield was to be closer to family and to get help with daycare during the school year.  We couldn't have afforded to have two kids in Highlands Ranch.  One of the other HUGE reasons we moved is because Douglas County Schools were getting ready to go on their 4th year of pay freezes (read: I was making what a 4th year teacher makes even though it was my 7th year last year and Brandon was making what a 2nd year teacher makes even though it was his 5th year...in other words not that much money).  The land of opportunity, Boulder Valley School District, was calling our name.  Not only did their employees getting a raise this year (what?), part-time employs also receive full benefits which meant that between the pay raises for both of us, reduction in day care, and benefits I was going to be able to work part-time!

The catch is that BVSD Human Resource Department rolled out a brand-new-just-this-year plan of removing the "networking" piece of getting a job.  All that means is you submit boatloads of  paperwork, take a ridiculous test called the Teacher Insight, and based on everything you submitted HR screens your paperwork and passes on a handful of applicants to the school.  The problem is every job I have applied for has been averaging 280-300 applicants.  Not an interview yet. Praise the Lord, Brandon's job had an inside connection and the principal broke HR protocol to interview Brandon.  He is going to be a middle school sped teacher and NOT COACH HS FOOTBALL.  No more late nights and weekends!!!!!!!!!

So, in the last month I have started applying for full-time jobs in BVSD and every surrounding district frustrated that this isn't/wasn't the plan.  There have been many jobs that I have gotten my hopes up for thinking "Oh, this must be the one God has picked out just for me because...," but still no interview.

Plan Z is that if I still don't have a job I will drive my pregnant-self down to Highlands Ranch to teach 2nd grade, because I haven't resigned yet.  This stresses me out too (not only the drive), but the potential of screwing over my old school at the last minute because I do get a job up here.  I would say in the last few weeks I average 2-3 breakdowns a week.  And anyone who has looked for a job knows what a full-time job that can be.  I could feel my blood pressure rising today when I was a applying for a job that I don't even want, in a district I don't want to work in, that isn't super close, and that it was asking me to enter a bunch of information that they could gather from reading my resume, teaching license, and transcripts.

There is no secret option where I get to stay home, that was never our plan.  At this point anything compared to Plan Z is looking pretty good and I will Praise the Lord for Plan W, X, or Y.   Even if it ends of being Plan Z, I hope to see God's hand in it and somewhere down the road say, "Oh, that is why..."  Way deep deep deep down inside I do have a peace about all of this.  I told someone the other day, I am super curious to see how it all turns out.  I haven't a clue. I can never begin to imagine what God has in store...I think I gave up trying to guess.  I know my God is bigger than some stupid HR protocol or my small-minded "perfect" plan.  And my mom reminded me that God had perfect timing when sweet baby girl #2 is supposed to come, even though it seems to be not the best timing. (She by the way is growing wonderfully and right on track.  We got to see her in an ultrasound this week).  If I can get an interview, what principal in their right mind is going to hire a very pregnant girl they don't know?   I guess I wanted to blog all of this so I would remember all the things I have going against me so I can be reminded of God's faithfulness when I look back on this summer of so many unknown things about our future.  He has shown me some truths to cling to and is using this time to draw me back to Him.

Truth be told, I really can't complain because my only job this summer is getting to spend every second with my Paigey Patch.  Seriously, that is my only job while Brandon slaves away at our house.  I get to entertain her, take her fun places, hang out with her and with family/friends.  Shoot--I don't have to even cook or clean (our house is such a disaster, what's the point).

I guess this summer isn't so bad after all....